Saturday! Part III

I started hitting Karan’s shoulder who was sleeping, resting his head on the bench, making an attempt to wake him. It took him some while gain conscious and the guy raised his head. ‘Thank God he’s alive!’

He sat up straight and wiped his lips. The way he wiped, I guessed he had a pretty wonderful dream. “Fuck you man! Why the fuck u hate me soo much? I was about to kiss Katy Perry! U ruined it”. Obviously he wanted to sleep some more. “Are u going with them to the falls?” , I enquired. “As long as  they  let me sleep peacefully!” Well he was going. Vicky and Babji were going as they are banned from extra class. Aniketh was in because he was the only guy who knew driving. Raghav and me were not sure.

Vicky and Babaji Karthik came in as soon as the professor left. They both looked excited. “I don’t think i can come guys” I said and added “this extra class topic is imp for the semester and i don’t want to miss”. “My attendance is pretty low. I think I should attend the lecture” , said Raghav. Finally I had someone who didn’t want to bunk. Feels great to have a friend by your side!

Vicky spoke! The 90 seconds speech. The speech that made us join them. The speech didn’t inspire us, but blackmail! Emotional blackmail!! Like girl-friends/girls use tears to get what they want, guys-bestfriends use emotional blackmail.

“You know one day you will be waiting to die and Yamraj says u got 7 mins to relieve the best moments of your life and what are u gonna remember? Avogadro’s number? Your attendance percentage? Your semester marks? Hell! Do u guys even remember the subjects u studied in your first engineering year?”. He was right! We had 6 subjects each semester plus 2 practicals. That means 16 subjects and could hardly name 6 of them. Vicky continued, “You guys are going to regret those last 7 mins of your life”. He said this in a emotional tone as if he was going to flood a river from his eyes. Obviously he wasn’t going to cry. We knew how good an actor he is! We joined them. That was the only way to stop him talking like a gyani. We all walked out and reached the parking lot. There , for the first time I saw Aniketh’s car. Even Raghav was seeing it for the first time.

It was an old Maruthi Suzuki Omni. Looking at it, Raghav said ,”Its not a car! Its a big red box with four tyres attached to it!”. We all were waiting for Aniketh to arrive who had gone to pee. He arrived after 10mins. “I don’t think u were peeing. I think u were fapping!” said Vicky trying to irritate Aniketh. Karan already had got into the car and continued his quest of kissing Katy Perry. Aniketh took the wheels, Vicky called shotgun. Now me, Babaji and Raghav had to squeeze in the back seat of the antique car with Karan, who was probably horny! Vicky opened the “Pepsi” bottle and the smell of our dear buddy Old-Monk woke Karan. “I love u Vicky”, said Karan breathing in the scent. Damn! It took me 15 hits to his shoulder to wake him earlier and in return what i got was “Fuck you”! Hope Katy Perry hits his groin in his dreams.

We all had some drinks. Aniketh didn’t get any as he had to drive the big red box. After a bumpy one and half hour ride we reached our destination. We parked the car and had some walking to do through the jungle to reach the water falls. Only Aniketh knew the way to the falls. He lead the way, we followed. Greens everywhere! We could hear the birds chirping but couldn’t spot any. Raghav asked Karan to keep on singing as long as we walked through the woods so that we could know he’s awake and not fallen asleep.

We walked for 15 mins and still no sign of water fall! We were all tired. 15 mins might sound little but when you’re walking through the forest, jumping over rocks and fallen trees and through the bushes, 15 mins is enough to make your ass sweat and drain you. “We are almost there guys”, said Aniketh.

“Do u really know where the fuck is this waterfall?” , asked Vicky.

“Dude! I was here for my 6th grade class trip. Me and my friends spotted a cheetah that day. I know this place very well. Don’t worry”

Vicky was furious!

Before Vicky could say anything

“You Fucker BC! U were here in your 6th grade!?? That was like a century ago. Saale! Do u know how badly my balls are sweating??    ! If i die here im goin to chop your hairy stinky balls off and feed it to the cheetah! I’m gonna rape u all for bringing me into this jungle! “, said Karthik. All in one breadth! Like Shankar Mahadevan. It was disturbing to hear those words from a guy like Karthik, whom we called Babaji/ Saint for his soft and peaceful nature.

“Why would you touch something that ugly Babaji?” , asked Raghav.

“What ugly?” , asked Karthik, confused

“His balls”, said Raghav and started laughing.

Too much Daaru!

“Shut up u guys! I can hear the water hitting the rocks! Can u guys hear it?”, said Aniketh looking at us excitedly. We all did hear it. We felt the waterfall is somewhere nearby. We followed the sound and after some time we reached there. Raghav took off his shirt and started running towards the pool beneath the waterfall like he had seen a huge pile of sealed alcohol bottles. We all felt a relief. Aniketh was most relived as he was going back home with his balls intact between his legs. Babaji finally put up a smile on his face. We all took a dip. Our tired body felt relaxed. The cold waterfall was worth all the trouble. Worth tiring Omni ride and the walk through the jungle.

We were all half dipped in the water  pool. Water coming up almost to our chest. Raghav took off his jockey underwear and lifted it high up above his head like he had just won the World cup and started singing,” yeeehhh dossutiii…. Humm nahhiiii chodengggaayyyy….”. We all joined and eventually everyone held their precious World Cups high up above!




Saturday! Part II

Finally it was the day. For the rest of the globe it was a Saturday. But for us, it was a ‘Extra class day’. Everyone knew the first hour was going to be professor Narayan’s, the extra class guy. We were all in the class by 9 and class was about to start. Vicky, one of the ‘Old monk’ guys came right on time and sat next to Aniketh. It was a three seater and Vicky, Aniketh and Raghav sitting together meant trouble. Obviously they sat together because they wanted to discuss about the afternoon. They were right in front of me, saint Karthik and Karan. We were not sure about today. I never thought these guys will remember what their drunk versions had discussed on Thursday evening.

Professor entered the class right on time and started his usual, nobody-gives-a-f lecture. Everyone pretended as if they were very much involved. Karan, was fast asleep. The guy had the capacity to sleep through an earthquake! This boring lecture was a piece of cake for the guy.

After a while, Vicky turned around and said, “You guys are coming right? I got a bottle of coke in Aniketh’s car” and smiled mischievously. We all knew what that smile meant! That smile meant, “Its mixed with Old monk”. He continued talking, “don’t worry Babaji, I got a Pepsi for you! Just for you”. That was enough to convince Saint Karthik. The glow on his face after hearing , “…a Pepsi for you… Just for you” revealed he was going. Before Vicky could say anything, Karthik, with a tiny smile and ton of excitement said, “Yes! I’m in”.

“You!” , said professor Narayan. “Fourth bench first guy”, pointing to Vicky. “And the guy behind him”, pointing to Karthik.

Both stood up, head down. This wasn’t the first time for Vicky. He was used to this. But Saint Karthik on the other hand, well u get the idea. He was nervous. The entire class staring at him.

“What is Avogadro’s Number?” , asked professor Narayan and added “this is a question for those two, not others. So others keep quiet!”. Everyone kept quiet. Obviously, nobody knew the answer, except for Raghav! He offered to help Vicky.

“Sir, it is a number discovered by Avagadro , the scientist , and this number… is ah…ah used for the calculation of major heat transfer problems” , said Vicky and there was a joy and delight in his smile after he completed his answer and he thought he was saved by his dear friend. Those words were copy paste of what Raghav had whispered and it was completely wrong! We all knew it and the whole class burst into laughter. Including Karthik.

Professor wasn’t impressed! “You people think engineering is a joke!” , he said. Obviously it is a joke! You pay, sit all day long for four years, in some cases more than that! Spend sleepless nights studying outdated mechanisms and theories and in the end learn nothing!

“Get out! Both of you! And don’t bother coming to the extra class. I don’t want to see your face today”.

Those words were like unasked boon for Vicky! He walked out happily and Saint Karthik wasn’t so happy. He had to share the punishment for Vicky’s wrong doings.

Finally, after a torturous hour the class was over! Professor left 5mins early and reminded us before he left that he was going to take class in the afternoon. Bad News! Doesn’t matter how many times you hear a bad news, a bad news will always be a bad news. It was a bad news. We all knew it but still it was kinda hard imagining sitting in there and spending another hour of our precious little life with Professor Narayan.

– to be continued…


Saturday! Part I

You know that feeling when a lecturer says ‘I’ll be taking extra class on Saturday afternoon’ ? Well we mechanical engineering batch were used to it. Not all attended those classes but many did! Nearly 70% of them. It was Thursday and our ‘Heat and Mass transfer’ professor told us Saturday was his day! He was going to take the afternoon class while the entire college students of other branches and batches will be out enjoying their weekend except for us!

That evening me and my friends were sitting at the usual hangout of ours. ‘Prince Bar & Restaurant’ and all 9 of us were not happy about the Saturdays getting ruined. Happy or sad or frustrated, alcohol always makes u calm down! And that’s what we did. Everyone went with Old Monk and Coke. Yes, the best couple in the world! I got myself a beer as I tend turn into another person when im high. One of our friend’s, Saint Karthik ordered Pepsi and Egg biryani. Yes even we had that one friend in our group who comes to a bar and orders soft drinks and finishes most of the chana masala.

After a while the ‘Old Monk Guys’ had enough alcohol in their system and this led to a different plan for Saturday!

After a lot of unwanted discussion and drinks, we decided let’s bunk Saturday class. Aniketh, had too much Old Monk and too little coke! He stood up and officially announced bunking Saturday by saying, ‘Fuck u Heat and Mass transfer! We got better things to do on Saturday than education’. We decided we will be going to Mala falls that afternoon.

I just prayed to Almighty hope these drunks remember what they had decided for Saturday!